Holy Hell, What Has Singer Done To The Past X-Men In General?!

I was all aflutter when Singer was brought in on X-Men: Days of Future past and ecstatic when he claimed he would be "fixing" discrepancies made by the awful X-Men 3 and other timeline problems. "BRING BACK CYCLOPS, YOU BASTARDS!" is a rallying cry I have heard from many of my geekier friends.  And I agree, wholeheartedly.

Singer loves leaking photos on his twitter, and the more that he did...the more nervous I became.  Most people complained over the look of the Sentinels (giant Dyson vacuums, anyone?) , but I actually liked the look.  I never warmed up to the boring look of the giant metal robots.  Plus, I think if the government is fully aware that Magneto is the master of magnetism...they aren't going to be throwing metal robots at him.

But now these Empire Magazine covers are slowly being released.  Some are just down right terrible, while the rest are just bleh.  I am so scared for this movie.  I feel it in my bones that I am going to hate it.  And that makes me so sad.  The X-men were my absolute favorite comic series growing up.  Now when I try and read them, I am bored out of my mind.  I am prefering the writing on the Avengers titles.  And that makes me feel like such a traitor.  And the Avengers movies?! Oh dear God, they are awesome!  WAAAY better than what Fox is churning out for the X-Men franchise.  Proclaim X-Men: First Class as great all you want, but I thought it was cheesy as all out (plus, the purist in me cannot accept this ragtag team as the "First Class."  BRING BACK CYCLOPS, YOU BASTARDS!). Fassbender saved that movie.  If not for him, I would not have liked it much.  Anyway, I digress.  Here are the Empire Magazines covers thus far (I will be adding more as they become available) and my thoughts and ramblings.

 

This sentinel looks awesome to me, though a wee bit small.  It would still strike fear into young mutants.  I get that it has similar designs to my Dyson vacuum (which is THE BEST vacuum), but I like the coloring better than the mash-up of pink and purple from the comics. Also, I find it hilarious that they describe the robot as "moderately powerful."

The Havoc cover just looks terribly Photoshopped.  Like someone on Tumblr made this.  Actually, I know a few people on Tumblr who could make this look a lot better.  Is Havoc in the army now?!  I haven't read up on the movie and what direction they are taking with the characters, because I want some element of surprise when I watch the movie...so I honestly do not understand the military garb.

 

I remember hearing on Twitter that Toad was going to be included in this film, but I honestly forgot all about it until now.  Again with the military apparel?!  And the goggles??? I had to look up who this actor is, because he comes across as old in this pic.  But nope, he is only 29.  How this toad ties into the Toad from the first X-Men movie...I am interested to see how Singer "fixes that."  Otherwise, he looks terrible.

 
Well, hellloooo Mr. Stryker!  WHy on earth did we go with casting an attractive William Stryker?! I don't want to think this douchebag is attractive!! Ugh.  I love his tagline though; Mutant Hater, Military Man, Nut Job.  I am so confused on the timelines of the Stryker family.  I need to look that up again.

 

Pimpin' is not easy, children.  It appears pretty easy for Trask though.  He looks pimpin' as all out!  I assume we are ignoring that he was a large black man in a previous movie? Right?  Ignoring it?  Got it.  I'm intrigued to see him in this movie as I love his acting in Game of Thrones.

 

J. Law is looking amazing as Mystique.  I still do not understand why Mystique had to be "naked" in these movies except as a fan-boy service. I get that she is "mutant and proud" and all, but what is the hatred of clothing?!  I guess because her real clothes wouldn't shift when she changes appearances, but for every day wear...put on some damn clothes!! And if she is truly naked, does she not have a vulva?!  Let's either be anatomically accurate, or put on some clothing!

 

Beast is all blue and furry, and HE WEARS CLOTHES!!! Takes notes, Mystique!  Beast looks terrible though.  He looks like a old-school Werewolf.

O.M.G.  What the balls is this?!?  It's like the costume designers sat down and were like "He's called quicksilver...so he's quick...and let's dress him in SILVER!!  Get it, quick...silver...Quicksilver!!"  FUCKING GENIUSES!  There aren't even costumes created yet for the Avenger's Quicksliver, and it's STILL better than this trash.

 

I'm digging the color scheme, though the chest armor gives the appearance of boob-plate.  And is it just me, or do his pants not seem to fit correctly?!  And why did my eyes divert to his pants so quickly?! (teehee) The helmet is cool, though it still bothers me that he would even wear the helmet of a man that murdered his mother and people. 

Well, at least the Professor's pants fit correctly!  I know everyone loves him, but I still cannot stand this casting.  And I am so don with the "groovy" Professor.  I hate the 60's/70's look sooooo bad.  You cannot make me believe that Patrick Stewart's younger Professor was ever like this!!!  And how is he standing?! 

"BONE CLAW IS REEAADDYYY!"  Sorry, inside joke.  Anyway, Wolvie is super freaking veiny in this cover!  I am nauseated by the amount of veinage popping out.  Especially that fat one running up his stomach!  No thanks.  And I am going to need a refresher on the timeline of his claws being bone and them being metal.  I am lost again.

Boooo...who cares!!  Get off the cover!  Who is seriously going to be this cover over the other covers?

 

Okay, now we get into the "future" X-Men...where apparently Wolverine somehow gets his metal claws back.  Now I am very confused.  They have so many time-line flaws to fix in this movie.  At least he covers his veins in the future, though.  But would it kill Singer to put these character's into real costumes?!  I want to see Hugh Jackman as Wolverine in the actual Wolverine costume from the comics!  Just once.  Alter it a bit even.  Just do it!!!!

YESSSSS!! I am so very excited to see Blink on the screen!  She looks amazing!  But how is is that she is teleporting...or who is sitting in her "blink wave"?  Damn pink word bubble is over his face!
(EDIT:  Apparently it is Warpath based on his blades)

I am so happy to have Patrick Stewart back portraying Prof X.  It will totally make up for lame young Prof X.  Plus, now he has rocket booster chairs! Wooo!

I never liked Halle Berry as Storm.  She is a beautiful woman and a great actress...in other films.  Just not any of the X-Men movies.  I guess we can blame it on her script.  Her character is so lame in the movies.  She should be a bad ass goddess!

I have heard that Rogue is only in the movie for one scene.  And though I do not like Anna Paquin as an actress or the subdued Rogue in these movies, that makes me sad.  It also makes me think that other characters, such as Blink and Warpath, will also only be in one or two scenes.  There are just far too many mutants to fit into the story (much like X-Men 3).  Anyway, I am guessing from her full coverage outfit, that her powers have returned much like Magneto's returned at the end of X3.  Which makes me think that Mystique's powers probably returned after that movie too.  I bet she's piiissssseeeed at Magneto.

How do you make Sean Ashmore, a man who has not aged a day in his life, look older? Slap a beard on him!  Boom!  Older!  He looks good with that beard too!  I really hope he is used in this movie as more than a love interest.

I love this cover and how it ties to Blink's cover!  It also makes me think they are close in the movie. Plus, those blades are bad ass.  But...he can fly?!  Damn you, obscure powers that I forgot you had!

I really dislike the way they made Kitty come between Rogue and Iceman.  It made her look like a tart, and him look like an ass.  Besides that, this cover is pretty boring.  At least it is the least Photoshop-looking of the group!  And is that a spaceship of some sort in the background?  And where are the costumes?! Damnit Singer....I want some damn costumes!!

Hey, I forgot Sunspot is in this!  Wow, they pulled from the extended X-Men roster for this movie.  I love Robert DaCosta in the comics.  He's quippy and a flirt.  He is totally not needed for this movie though.  Why can't we bring in REAL X-Men? Gambit, Psylocke, Jubilee, Angel (the REAL one)?!  Any of the original gold or blue teams would be better than any of the New Mutant roster!

Ian is a bad ass in any role he takes on.  I like how this cover compliments the "Past Magneto" cover. Plus, he gets a cape.  Cuz nothing says practical tactile gear like a muthaflippen cape!  Magneot would SO demand a cape too.  So diva!

YESSSS!  Bishop will be on screen, ya'all!  Now I just need Cable to make his way up and I will be so freaking happy!  Bishop looks pretty awesome.  I like the "M" across his right eye looking more like a brand then a tattoo.  I love the color scheme and the tactile looking gear.  I just love it.

This looks awful.  It looks like a bad photomanip.  Which, I guess it is technically.  Please, oh please, make Colossus cooler in this movie.  And he belongs with Kitty!!!

Sweet Mother Mary...this is...this is...FABULOUS!  I know there is a lot of hate floating about the interwebs for this design, but I like it and I get it.  Here is what Singer had to say about his design:

"They’re bio-mechanical weapons. We had to come up with what would be the ultimate version that could actually, in principle, stop the X-Men. We started with this idea that they were almost made up of magnetic plates slapped over one another, imagining that the plates could contract or grow, so the Sentinel can be skinny to get through a small space or the plates can open up to become a bigger shape. So they have become virtually unstoppable."

Sounds like the future is terrible...but will look awesome on screen!!